June 3rd, 2009

Southernizims

LOL, mostly all true and the accent portrayed here is pretty much Georga which does not make up the whole South.

...I have been told that I have an accent though :)

There is a cookbook featuring Southern recipes, not the best versions of the recipes (maybe it was written by a transplant), but the title is typically Southern: "Who's Your Mama, Are you Catholic, and Can you Make a Roux?"

And yes, my husband and I found out that we were related by marriage at our wedding.  One of my cousins had married one of his aunts.  My cousin received two different wedding invitations made out in different names.  My side of the family called him bubbee (My side being heaveyly cajun French.  My grandmother was straight off the bayou). The other side called him bubba, a common Southern nickname.


Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:
'Yes, ma'am.'
'Yes, sir.'
'Why, no, Billy!'

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
'Y'all come back!'
'Well, bless your heart.'
'Drop by when you can.'
'How's your Momma?'

Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint
Straw hats and big sunglasses

Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Catholic
Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food


More Suth en-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't 'HAVE' them, you 'PITCH' them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc, make up 'a mess.'
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of 'yonder.'
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long 'directly' is, as in: 'Going to town, be back directly.'
_____
Even Southern babies know that 'Gimme some sugar' is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when 'by and by' is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between 'right near'and 'a right far piece.' They also know that 'just down the road' can be 1 mile or 20.
_____
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, and when we're 'in line,' we talk to everybody!
_____
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
_____
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____
When you hear someone say, 'Well, I caught myself lookin',' you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____
Only true Southerners say 'sweet tea, ''sweet milk,' and 'light bread'. Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. 'Sweet milk' means you don't want buttermilk. And 'Light bread' is white bread.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,'Bless her heart' .. and go your own way.
_____
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, .. bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads 'I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.'


Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !
Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
We know you got here as fast as you could.

Writer's Block: Multilingual

How many languages do you speak?

Hmmm, depends on your definition.  I can muddle my way through Spanish if it is written.  I can get the jist of a spoken Spanish conversation, mostly, but don't "speak" it very well.  I can't remember enough words to hold a conversation.

Does Ebonics and Southern count as language?

What about pidgin English?  I've gotten quite adapt at deciphering badly spoken English from dealing with so many international students who butcher the language through miss use of words and bad pronunciation and rhythm.

I've got a good head for accents and can copy them pretty well when trying to learn new words, especially Chinese for some strange reason.  That really surprises me.  I don'tt even try learning Vietnames words.  That language sounds like they are swollowing their tongues.