November 8th, 2007

50000 of smut

Bored Now

 Bored Now.  Sound out.  What's everyone doing?

I am finding very little to do at work.  There is piddly stuff that I could do, but it just doesn't seem interesting enough.  I could write some more, but I will probably do that in the afternoon, after I do the piddly stuff.

It is also butt-ass cold in my office.  They haven't turned the heat on in the building yet and for some reason my end of the hall is very cold, probably because I am close to the stairwell.

I was just thinking of making tea to warm myself up with, when the harp professor across the hall walked in with coffee.  Blast her!  I keep forgetting to bring more coffee up here.

Oh, well.  What's everyone doing?  I haven't heard from some folks in a while.

Words on my monitor

 My words of sanity are on my monitor.

This is something a wise lady on a list suggested.  I wrote on my wrists because hands were to obvious for my job.  I could still see the words all day though.  They really got me through a really rough time.

After that, I wrote the three words on two pieces of paper and taped them to the top of my monitor so I could see them all the time.  They help in a lot of situations for me: "It's okay" and "Let it go." 

Sometimes these constant reminders are what I need, especially, the "It's okay."

From the wise lady:

..."The tuesday while I was still hurting and unsure I heard the Radio show about the three words. When i got to work I took a red marker and wrote "Let it be" on my left hand and "just let go on my right" All day Tuesday I looked at those words. I noticed them when I talked to co-workers and was careful that even though they may have caught glimpses of it, they never asked. I was mindful of that hand on Tuesday and I focused on those three words a lot through the course of the day. I saw it when I reached for the phone. I looked at it when I washed my hands. They stared back at me. Through the course of the day, through hand washing and hand sanitizer applications, the words faded from dark red to pink. After my shower I noticed that they could barely be seen. I debated reapplying the words before I went to bed that night but decided against it. The words had imprinted their meaning..they had done their job.

That night I came to another realization, and to three more words. So upon arriving at work the next morning I took my sharpie and wrote those words on my left hand (edited).... Those words stayed on my hand through Tuesday, and because I still needed them, I re-applied them on Wednesday and Thursday. Yes, there were still things I was struggling with. Yes, there were still questions. But every time they started I would look at my left hand and remind myself that none of it really mattered because I believed in that statement."

I hope you try this and that it works for you.  It has really helped me.