May 2nd, 2007



So, we went out to dinner tonight with all three kids (teen-agers). The girl is 14. She has a cell phone attached to her ear as they usually do, talking to her bff (also known as Spartica, but that's another story).

She is sitting all the way in the back of the van chatting away, oblivious to the rest of us. Then we hear, ". . . yeah, I've been celibate for a while now . . ."

"And you better stay that way," I said from the front, "or I'll be getting a chastity belt for you. I know where to get one."

There was an indignant screech from the back, "MOM!!! I just mean I haven't been flirting with any guys, that's all!"

"And it better stay that way," said her dad. "You need to be exactly like that word - celibate."

"Chastity belt," I said again. She proceeded to ignore us, continuing to talk on the phone and telling bff what we were saying. We realized I hadn't bought power ball tickets, so we turned out of the neighborhood and headed to the Shell.

All of a sudden, she like, "Where are we going? I thought we were going home."

"We're going to get a chastity belt," I said.

"No, really, where're we going."

"I just told you," I said, then hubby chimed in with "We're going up to Hearts to get you a chastity belt to make sure you stay celibate."

We went back and forth some more until she finally screeched on the phone, "I'm going to kill my parents!"

Bff says, "in their sleep?"

"No, while they're awake, so they'll know it was me!"

"Damn," says hubby, "that's my daughter."

Like I said - apple.